Saturday, November 13, 2010

HALT - Hungry, Angry Lonely & Tried

Chrissy is exhausted from her grueling schedule and I’m tried. there is a old saying

“ HALT ”- Hungry, Angry Lonely & Tried “.

I never woke up one day and said ”Cats now that’s were the money is.

Sometimes I never understand why our bread always falls the butter side down.

We are good people.

We have dedicated our lives to take care of these unwanted kitties in under our care.

100% of all donations goes to the kitties.

We have taken in so many kitties that other rescues refused to take because if we did not their fate would have been death,

We wonder why life is not fair but that is the fact of life.

Here is a personal insight in what we faced and are facing in trying to save these beautiful cats under our care.

The truth is not a pretty one buy it will set you free.

Hungry & Angry

A while back a Puffy Paws Kitty Haven supporter was telling the difference between us and the “ Media Darling of Rescues In This Town” to one of their supporters who was trying to get him to drop his support for us and come on over to their side.

He said ‘ You group excelled in fund raising because you have the support of the local newspaper because one of your board members maintains an executive position at the newspaper itself.

Do you really think its fair that as a foster based program, in which you only take care of a handful of animals, you hides behind the saying “It’s For The Animal “ but one government report after another shows, that the majority of the donations you get goes to salaries , fundraising and management..

Not to the small amount of animals under your foster base care. One year you paid over 100,000 dollars to two paid staff members combined. But that is kept out of the local paper.

Last year only 35% of all donations sent to you was spent on the animals.

Than he wiped out a sheet of paper and said “Look at this” At least your numbers are up from previous years because this government report states .

“ The funds spend on the “animals” is extremely minimal”

2003 - $ 225 out of $31,263 = .71% of expenses
2004 - $ 505 out of $30,504 = 1.60% of expenses
2005 - $ 802 out of $26,955 = 2.20% of expenses

Than he said , Why is it The Kingston takes in the animals you refused to take over the years and your group takes in the community money and you broke that trust and spent it on yourself. And this is kept out of paper.

I do not think anyone in your organization will ever know what’s its like to go hungry . But I know one fact .The Kingston’s have gone hungry and the cats under their care never have.

These are the differences between your group and Puffy Paws and that’s why I will never give you my support.

Lonely & Tried

As you can image my wife and I relationship is put to the test each and everyday.

We seldom see each other. The time spent is brief and its between Chrissy scooping cat boxes ,cleaning and feeding the kitties.

The ban of having no help is destroying my wife. She has lost her life.

Her life is the kitties. Her unconditional love for them enables her to move ahead everyday.

It’s hard to accept the fact that the cats have to come over our marriage in order to maintain a clean,safe environment for them.

People have asked me “ Why do you stay” ?

Because even tho I do not have a traditional marriage to my wife were there is quality time spent together and all the perks and benefits one excepts in a marriage there is a deep bond of love for her deep in my soul.

She is my wife when I took my vows “For better or for Worst” I vowed I will live by them until the day we are no more.

I know I have many selfish faults but each day I try to become a better man and I’m not always successful. That is why I try to put her needs and the needs of the cats above my own selfish desires.

My heart is in pain for Chrissy, the way she works non stop, the powerlessness I feel because I can not seem to get any relieve for her daily drudgery.

The physical pain she endures on a daily basic with her rheumatoid arthritis and the 3 rupture discs in her back from 3 car wrecks , she was in when she was younger, brings to me to cry out to God and ask for mercy for her and I feel anger when none is given.

She is a frail woman with the inner strength of a 1,000 men.

I take the full blunt of her anger and resentment she feels for me, because I said . Yes when I should have said no in taking in the last 100 kitties under our care. I too have taken her life away.

I long for the days that we may become one and share and laugh and cuddle as a married couple. But those days may never come back.

I stay because the deep love I have for my wife which I cannot express in a traditional way and the love I have for the cats.

My daily actions speaks louder than my words. Because when I open up my mouth over my own personal anger and resentments, I hurts the one I love. I pray for God to hold my tongue so that I may not increase her burdens. But half the time it does not work.

We put the kitties first. They are helpless and we are their care givers. there are 268 hearts beats at stake here and that’s why we are one from afar.

1 comment: